Sixteen walkers recently gathered on Mount Royal to celebrate 10 years of Montreal’s first walking group for people mourning the loss of a loved one. They walked for an hour in silence and in conversation, shared photos and memories of their loved ones and allowed the healing power of nature to help them both grieve and cope.
The Mourning Walk was founded in Montreal by Alice Lehrer, a retired Occupational Therapist and volunteer with Hope & Cope, after reading an article in The Globe and Mail about a Grief Walk based in Vancouver and Victoria. She quickly took the idea to Dr. Bernard Lapointe, then Director of Palliative Care at the Jewish General Hospital, and soon after, Hope & Cope piloted the program as an additional option to their traditional 8-week support group for the bereaved.
What attracted Alice to the idea of using walking and nature as a coping mechanism is what has attracted so many people over these past ten years. “It is a comfort zone for the bereaved”, says Alice. “Walking in nature offers the participants space and freedom to grieve in their own way”. She notes that when you are walking, your eyes are focused forward and not everyone is looking at you. It is okay to walk in silence and just be alone with your thoughts. This allows people a certain freedom to speak when they feel comfortable – something which some find difficult in a more traditional group.
The Mourning Walk is open to all who have lost someone to cancer. It is a weekly, open-ended group and most people stay with the group for between one and two years. About 20% remain engaged for more than 4 years, not necessarily coming every week, but coming back for reunions, holiday seasons or other special milestones where they are struggling with the absence of their loved ones.
Alice says that the group does not judge – they acknowledge that there is no timeline for grief and people find great comfort and solace in knowing that they can stay as long as they like, can leave when they feel some of their needs have been met and that the group will always welcome them when they need to return. Some members also attend traditional support groups or see a therapist and Alice and her co-facilitators refer, as needed, to the professional staff at Hope & Cope or other grief resources.
The Mourning Walk is offered every Thursday, starting at 10am at Smith House on Mount Royal. After a brief acknowledgement of the person for whom they are walking, the group walks in silence or in conversation, in twos and threes, for an hour and then the group meets back at Smith House for coffee and group sharing and more conversation. Alice stresses that the group is not a walking fitness group and that all levels of walking ability are respected, but that prospective members should have the capacity to walk for an hour, even at a reduced pace. They walk in rain or shine, sleet or snow, even if sometimes only one person shows up because of the weather.
Over the ten years, many friendships have formed in the group and Alice always marvels at the way people find a soul-mate to walk with and to share their story. She talked about 3 young adults who met in 2013 who bonded over the shared experience of being young widows. They have met regularly over the years, have travelled together and one, Domenica Pulcini, is now a co-facilitator of the group.
Like so many groups that were suspended because of COVID restrictions this past pandemic year, the Mourning Walk turned to Zoom and attracted even more returning members. Physical isolation, fear and loneliness exacerbated their struggle to cope. Members reported that grief was more intense and it was difficult to manage. The pandemic added an extra heavy layer to their grief and the group was a lifeline for them to connect with others who understood. While Zoom worked well for many months, the group was back on the mountain, wearing masks and social distancing, the moment they could.
The Mourning Walk participated in the McGill Council on Palliative Care’s inaugural Projection Week and presented their model at the International Congress on Palliative Care in 2018. As Alice notes, the model is “simple, costs nothing and is accessible to all”. Its simplicity and lack of formal structure are part of its appeal. It is not a therapy group but it is certainly therapeutic; it is peer-led by people who know and understand the pain of loss and any organization or local community group could start one. The Mourning Walk is a great example of understanding the wide range of needs in coping with grief and developing a simple, effective, sustainable and informal alternative or complement to traditional bereavement support.
To learn more about Hope & Cope’s grief support programs, contact Hinda Goodman at hgoodman [at] jgh.mcgill.ca